4th Trimester

4th trimester. 

If you’re in your 4th trimester that means you’re holding your beautiful baby in your arms. Congratulations Mama! 

While this can be one of the most beautiful times in a woman’s life, it can also be one of the most challenging. I’m going to share some of my experience, the glamorous, the not so glamorous, the struggles and the truths of the 4th trimester. Please remember, as always, every woman’s experience is different and every woman deserves so much love and support. 

The moment Porter was in my arms was honestly the best moment of my entire life. I didn’t care about anything else in the world at that point. When the doctor said one more push I was so overwhelmed with emotions, I honestly cannot even explain. Tears were in both tanner and my eyes (and we’re seriously not emotional people!) Those first two hours went by so fast. Just us 3, our brand new family of 3. 

First night with Porter, still in the hospital. 9pm, we are exhausted and Porter is not sleeping. I tried and tried to get him to latch and had so many struggles. We couldn’t calm him. He actually screamed for hours and hours. Thankfully we had great nurses there to help. We watched the 5 S’s at 2am to try to learn how to care for a screaming baby, not happening! Finally, a lactation consult was with us and we got Porter to latch and satisfy his hunger. After over 24 hours of being awake, finally a couple hours of rest. What a start to the 4th trimester. 

Scared, excited, tired and everything in between we took our new baby home. 

First off, Breastfeeding can be hard, much harder than I thought. But we did it, we figured it out. Dry, cracked nipples as we figured out a good latch, one boob producing 3x the milk as the other, every 1-3 hours, all day, every day. I’m not going to lie, it was exhausting. But we kept pushing through, I knew I could do it, I could make it at least the first 3 months and then we’d go from there. 3.5 months and I cracked. Up every 1-4 hours, nursing nearly 3 hours straight before bed because I was his human pacifier, I just wanted to sleep even 5 hours straight. We made the decision to do combination feeding as I got back to work more and this worked so well for us. At first I felt so overwhelmed with guilt. We are in the health field, and it was constantly assumed I was going to continue to exclusively breast feed and that I was loving it. But in reality I didn’t enjoy it and I wanted to feel like me again and this was our first step. This may seem selfish to some but please remember... you have to take care of yourself in order to take care of your baby. Figure out what works for you and your baby. 

All of this mixed with crazy hormones. The baby blues are a very real thing, as well as postpartum depression. I personally did not experience postpartum depression but I know many woman who have. Nearly every woman does experience the baby blues to some extent and those I did go through. Literally happy one second, crying the next and no reason why. This is so normal and it does pass! Don’t be afraid to talk to someone and open up. Open up about your struggles, your thoughts and ask for help. Getting out of the house and moving my body were my outlets. Thankfully we do have the gym and it did me wonders going there and talking to adults, being out of the house. 

Lack of sleep, blowouts, judge mental people, advice from too many people, etc. we try to make it look like all glamour. We share the cutest baby pictures and that is it. Please don’t take me wrong, even as I write this I actually miss this phase some days! There is something so special about snuggling that tiny baby and knowing how much they need you. 

I write this for all you new moms out there, you are not alone and I want to tell you how fast it really does go. Looking back the good fills my memories. We have a beautiful boy and I would/ will (eventually) do this all over again. I’ve learned so much this past year and would never go back and change any of it. So if you are struggling, hold on mama. It gets better and remember how precious your little one is. One smile from him/ her and it will change your day.